I Was on Jay Leno! Wow!

Wow! So here I am in sunny California, land of swimming pools and movie stars. It's great!

I love movies. And actors. And movie stars. I think I saw George Clooney at the McDonald's in Burbank. Well, I thought it was him. It was a really good looking guy anyway!

They say Washington is showbiz for ugly people. Ain't that the truth! Except for Mitt Romney. He's perfect. And the Kennedys. And Fred Thompson. He's got sex appeal. Although I guess he's really Hollywood.

I think Hollywood is politics for good looking people. Ha! Get it!? Everyone here is handsome or beautiful, or in the case of Brad Pitt, both.

Hey, I was Jay Leno last night! Came on after Sandra Bullock. She wore a man's hat. She's adorable. I wonder why men don't wear hats more like they used to. Maybe if Fred Thompson is elected they'll make a comeback.

So I really went after Bush with both barrels. Like a new convert. No more codpieces from now on! He's incompetent, he's a liar, the war is really dumb. I even wowed Jay by saying Iraq was in Arabia. He was speechless. I think he though I said 'Aruba,' and got worried.

I gave my usual spiel about Romney being perfect and Rudy being covered with the dust of 9/11 and Fred with after-shave and cardigan. You know, just what everyone is really thinking. And by everyone I mean me and my fevered dreams. Ha!

It was great fun and I would go back. Thursday I'm going visit the Chinese Theater (boy, they're everywhere aren't they?) the La Brea tar pits, and hopefully the set of "Leave It to Beaver." If I get my picture taken in front of the Beaver's house with a "Fred Thompson '08" bumper sticker maybe they'll post it on the website!

On the other hand, I am sort of a journalist, so that might not be a good idea. Oh well.

After that, I gonna use this cool "Map of the Stars Homes" I bought and find out where Roy Rodgers lives. This is gonna be so cool!!!